There are programmed responses to statements that go as follows: and again issues may be filed with the appropriate department. Quick responses assured.
| Statement | Response | ||||
| Straight | Joe Gay | Wallpaper Gay | HRC Gay | ||
| I am flying to Australia | Cool. Why? |
I love Mardis Gras/SleazeBall/ |
Left or right on the plane? | We love it. | |
| Want to come to brunch? |
Excellent. |
Exellent. 12:30 good for you? | Who else is coming? | We have to go to Home Depot first. | |
| I just had a good workout. | Gym? (ok thats bitchy) | Oh man I have not gone for days...I really need to go...(repeat 12 times) | So did I. (as the needle drops in the sharps container) | Yeah Chaz comes out to the house. | |
| Outgoing message on machine | Leave a message. | cue some music, then voice markedly deeper leaves cell phone, beeper, work phone. | Forwards phone | PA answers all hours. | |
| What are you doing this weekend? | Want to hang out? | Birthday parties, general parties, Gym, work | Keeping my options open until 3pm Sat. | We're...... | |
| I need a place to crash in St. Louis next Wends. Know anyone? | No | No problem. | No problem. | No problem | |
| Lets go out but damn I am broke this month. | Pinks and Mickeys in the car. | Koo Koo Roo and Mineshaft Beer Blast | Get another credit card. | We'll treat. | |
| What time do you go to Home Depot? | 7 am | 3pm after brunch before beer blast. | Home Depot? | Before brunch. | |
| Buttercup? | Who? | Love her. | Who? | Who? |