Well I had a date that included a wonderful dinner, a wonderful man, some wine, more wine, a little lip, a fire alarm and third degree burns. Interested?
So there we are rolling on the bed. The second date lip well in progress. V necked gap shirts by the wayside belt buckles (specially trained) quivering but holding firm. (It’s only the second date and he could be the ONE so no whoring yet). So I am loving life getting some lip rolling on the bed requisite candles flickering having a grand ol time. Then the fire alarm goes off. So my date does the first thing anyone does when a fire alarm goes off- get up and rip out the batteries. He is facing away from the headboard fiddling with the alarm, I am enjoying my view of said fiddling when he turns around and then several things happen at once. I notice the soft flickering light has become a bit stronger and less flickering, he turns and says “uhh Vince’ and I turn my head to see oh lets just call them flames next to my head as my pillow has slipped into the candles and is on fire. Not a little smolder or even a singe but full on fire. So he jumps off the bed and runs into the bathroom to turn on the shower thinking that I would follow him. But I think Espiritu Martha “That’s going to make a mess”. So I plan to take the pillow outside and turn a hose on it. Well I get to the hall and his almost blind but definitely deaf dog that has a propensity to jump blocks the straight shot to the backyard and pool. Not wanting to burn both his house and dog down I head for the side door.

Now I am holding a pillow that is on fire and spreading towards my arm running through a house I do not know and get lost. Not too lost but still turn into the living room versus the kitchen. Finding my way is not a problem since the pillow is throwing off quite a bit of light by this point. It is also starting to drop little bits of down napalm by the time I reach the side door. A tiny little space for me and pillow. Two locks. Turn-turn doors locked. Turn-no turn doors still locked. So after all the combinations of lock unlock I open the door. Now my wrist has been sending some signals this whole time stating its clear unhappiness with the whole scene. I have ignored it since I was involved in higher quadratics getting the damn door open. Still ignoring the wrist I head to the backyard. My date had sensibly (again) been waiting and doing his taxes after going down the hall over his dog (notably NOT on fire) and had a hose running. So then it’s all about hose off and wound care. I had second and third degree burns. And of course I am doing helicopter transports at this point and have to have an IV for antibiotics for a few days. Really nice when I went out and the doorman wanted to put that damn wrist thing on me (those hospital bands saying Yes I am over 21.) and I had to show my IV so he would put it on the other hand. So now I have a scar and good friend so not a bad time after all.